The Big S

It was the socialization conversation.  As homeschoolers, we've all had them with the concerned friend or relative.  Yesterday, it went something like this:

 Concerned Relative:  "I hear school has started at your house."
Me:  "We've actually been at it for a few weeks now."
Concerned Relative:  "How does Logan do with other kids his own age?"  (This relative is actually quite encouraging in my homeschooling endeavors, but does seem to have a bit of a fear that my kids will end up in taped glasses, high waters, and suspenders while slurping their soup and picking their nose at Thanksgiving dinner.)
This is the point in the conversation where I generally go into defense mode and start listing: "Well, the kids are in dance, soccer, Sunday School, Wed. night kids' church, TWO homeschool coops, a playdate group...."  (Just saying it usually makes me tired.)  But, having just come off of Vacation Bible School season, I decided to be honest.
Me:  "Actually, Logan has a few good friends his age but, for the most part, he doesn't enjoy large groups of children his own age." 
Awkward silence.  But, really, I felt good.  In fact, it felt really good to have the truth out in the open.
Me:  "He finds them to be rude and mean a lot of the time."
Concerned Relative (chuckling):  "Oh, there's the Mamma Bear coming out.  But that is the real world and he's going to have to learn how to deal with it."
Me:  "Of course he will.  I'm just not convinced that a bunch of other six year olds are the ones I want teaching him how to deal with conflict.  I mean, what's a little kid going to do?  Whatever it is, he is probably going to pick up on sarcasm or underhanded meanness. Or he's going to get into an all-out brawl, which is not acceptable in our house.  Or he's going to be labeled a tattle tale, annoy all the teachers, and not fit in anyway."
Concerned Relative:  "Oh.  The weather is beautiful here!  What's it like up your way?"

Later, as I was thinking about the conversation, I found it somewhat intriguing that very few times has anyone expressed concern about my children's education, morality, or relationship with God.  One time when Logan was three an early-education teacher handed him a pencil and asked if he could write his name.  He looked at her blankly, as if he had no idea what his name was anyway.  She clucked disapprovingly and lectured me on the virtues of early childhood education.  But that has been about the extent of it. 

Does it seem at all strange to anyone other than myself, that socialization by peers seems to be the #1 concern when it comes to our children?  And that the term "socialization" always refers to spending time with others our children's own ages? 

I have yet to understand why socialization seems to be the #1 concern of the homeschool opponent.  Yes, I understand that a homeschooling child could possibly be under-socialized (although, in reality, homeschooling children generally spend MANY more hours a week socializing than main-stream schooled children do.  But, that is another rant for another day.).  However, if you find socialization by peers to be pretty low on my list of priorities, it is because I feel that I can better prepare my child for the real world by creating a Biblically-based curriculum that puts godly principles and biblical truths at the core of what we learn.  I would also rather them be "socialized" by us - their family - and by the parents and children who share our values.  I would rather my children be "socialized" by the wise men and women of faith with whom we spend one morning a week with at the nursing home.  And I would rather focus on things at the top of my priority list and, um, I hate to break it to you, Dear Concerned Relative, but socialization is not anywhere near the top at this time. 

So, if you truly find cause for concern and feel my child is become a social deviant, please feel free to let me know.  However, please be sure there is true cause for concern.  If he is simply missing the sarcastic "whatever" in his vocabulary or doesn't speak to you as an equal but with submissive respect or prefers a face-to-face conversation to his Nintendo DS, then I'm not going to be real concerned.  Now, if you notice his clothing is a bit out of style and he's looking a little nerdy, then I would LOVE some pointers.  Fashion, along with socialization, is - as any Concerned Relative would know - pretty low on my list of priorities as well.